Not All Weed is Created Equal: How to Spot the Good Stuff (Before You Inhale)

If it smells like hay, walk away. Published by NEKED Cannabis Café Est. 2019 — proudly ruining mediocre weed for people ever since.

Let’s get one thing straight: just because it’s green doesn’t mean it’s good.

So, how do you separate the dank from the dud? The sticky-icky from the budget broomstick? Read on, dear bud-lover. We'll make you fluent in weed snobbery — the best kind.

1. The Nose Knows

Sniff test: non-negotiable. Premium cannabis should hit your nostrils like a perfume ad gone wild — floral, earthy, citrusy, spicy, fruity, gassy… sometimes all at once. If it smells like a mop cupboard or has been hiding under your brother’s bed for a year, put it back down and slowly back away.

Pro Tip: At NEKED, you’re encouraged to sniff the sample. Because if you can’t smell it, why would you smoke it?

2. Look for Trichomes – Aka Nature’s Fairy Dust

Those tiny frosty crystals? That’s where the magic lives — terpenes, cannabinoids, the lot. If your bud looks like it was rolled in glitter by Tinkerbell herself, you’re on the right track.

Avoid: Anything that’s dull, dusty, or brownish. You’re not buying tea leaves. You are purchasing quality cannabis only.

3. Texture Matters, Darling

A good bud should feel like a well-moisturised handshake — slightly sticky, perfectly cured, and springy to the touch. If it crumbles into powder like a failed croissant, it’s either too old, too dry, or both.

Sticky = sexy. Dry = die.

4. Trimmed With Love (Not a Lawnmower) & Cured By Our Master Grower

Craft cannabis is hand-trimmed with care, leaving behind only the juicy, trichome-packed goodness. Machine-trimmed flower? Often rough, messy, and full of stalky nonsense. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

At NEKED, every nug we stock is hand-loved and shelf-ready — we don’t serve “cut-corners” cannabis.

5. The Burn Test (For When You’ve Already Been Betrayed)

We hope it doesn’t come to this, but if you do light up a dodgy pre-roll from That Other Place™… here’s your final clue:

• White ash = clean, flushed, high-quality cannabis.

• Black ash = chemicals, fertiliser residue, and regrets.

Your lungs deserve better. Trust us — and them.

Bonus: Ask a Budtender Who Knows Their Terpenes from Their Tupperware

If you walk into a shop and the person behind the counter can’t tell you what limonene is, rather leave. Here at NEKED, our crew are more like bud sommeliers — ready to guide you through a sensory journey that ends with a perfectly matched flower for your mood, intention, and flavour palate.

The NEKED Standard

We’ve built NEKED Cannabis Café on quality, integrity, and an unwavering intolerance for trashy weed. Every cultivar on our shelf is curated, loved, and carefully chosen for aroma, effect, and terpene profile, not yield or speed.

We were doing craft cannabis before it was cool. And we’ll be doing it long after the hay bales are gone.

Come Taste the Difference

Visit us in Clarens, Free State

Shop our premium selection online

Ask questions. Sniff freely. Smoke wisely.

Stay NEKED. Stay Elevated. Stay Fussy.